Complaints

It absolutely boggles my mind the things people will complain about!  (Am I really complaining about complaining? Yes!  Yes, I am! lol)

My husband was recently recognized for perfect attendance at his place of employment.  This is a rare occasion for him because he is a volunteer fire fighter and is sometimes late for work because he is at a fire scene.  The state of Indiana has a law that prohibits employers from penalizing volunteer fire fighters for being late when they are at a scene.  They may not leave work to go to a call, but they may be late.  His employer has never penalized him but he has never qualified for the PERFECT attendance award due to his excused tardiness.  This time it just so happened none of the calls he went to required him to be late to work.  Yay!  So he got a certificate, a small monetary award AND a reserved parking spot.  Mind you, he works third shift (roughly 8:00 pm to 6:00 am).  There are very few employees that work third shift so getting a good parking spot has never been an issue for him.  So, when they asked him where he would like his reserved spot he chose one for our son to use.  (We should have seen this was going to be a problem!  A father trying to do something nice for his son!  Watch out!)  Our son also works at the same place but he works the day shift at which time it can be difficult to find a spot to park.

A little back ground on our son, Jimmy.  He will be 23 at the end of this week.  He is employed full time but it is through a temp agency.  (This is confusing to me because he has been there for about a year now.  Not sure when a years employment became temporary, but I digress.) He lives on his own and pays his own bills, including automobile and renters insurance.  The vehicle he drives is in my husband's name.  Jimmy usually gets to work pretty early anyway. (I had a tendency to be late a lot when he was a kid and he now has an aversion to tardiness.)

Well, as I am sure you may have guessed, someone complained.  A guy is upset that my son is able to have a reserved spot.  I'm guessing because he feels my son doesn't deserve it.  My husband earned the spot and we feel he has a right to use it as he wants.  A reserved spot isn't beneficial to someone on third shift so if they aren't going to replace the "perk" with something more useful he should be able to use it any way he wants.  It is his spot, his son and his vehicle.  However, since this guy complained my husband now no longer has a reserved spot, it now becomes a regular parking space.  The funny thing is my son will still probably get to park there because he gets there early enough any way.

I guess my point is ....  was this something so serious that the guy really needed to complain about it?  What does he get out of taking something away from someone else?  He isn't the only one that I have seen do this so I wonder what makes people do this?  Are they just so unhappy in their own lives that they can't stand to see someone benefit from anything?  I guess I should pray for this man. Something has happened or NOT happened in his life to make him this way.  I often find it easy to pray for people who have done ME wrong, but I must confess that this is a little harder.  My husband just wanted to do something nice for his son.  My son has overcome many challenges in his life and deserves a little bit of goodness.  I'm very frustrated that someone wants to rain on their parade.  I pray for the ability to pray for this man!

Ok... I'm done complaining now.  =)

Angie

Money

MONEY!  I feel like it is a necessary evil!  We must have it, but it causes a lot of frustration.  Anyone who knows me knows that I am not a materialistic person and I don't care that much about money.  I know I need it for necessities and to survive in this world but, I will probably never have a lot of it and that is okay with me!

There have been times in my life when I had VERY LITTLE of it.  I have been on government assistance several times throughout my life and I have learned a little something.

1. The "system" does not care if you ever get off of it.  (I realize I am generalizing but, this has been my experience.)
2. There are people who really want to help those in need.
3. There are people that want NOTHING to do with you if you have no money.
4. I will put my pride aside to support my children.

Each of the things I have listed may someday be their own blog posts.

Currently I am very blessed.  My husband has a job that pays him well.  I have a job in which I get paid to do what I LOVE and what God has called me to do!  We don't have a lot compared to some but we have enough for us.  Our home and vehicles are modest and they are what we can afford.  I still have times in which money is tight, but I am no longer on government assistance and haven't been for quite some time.  I even try to help others in need when I can.

Yesterday I was reminded of the hold money has on us.  I have been teaching Summer School to help offset the cost of a surgery I will have to have in a few weeks.  Yesterday was payday and we were all made aware of a payroll mistake that affected everyone in our school corporation, including all working with the Summer School program.  I received a paystub that had one amount but a smaller amount was actually deposited in my account.  I was informed that the correct amount would be deposited on Monday and the incorrect amount would be withdrawn a few days after that.  (I know... what a mess!)  My family was not greatly affected because I have a husband that is employed and I did get paid something.  However!!!!  Several people, like my assistant, NEEDED the money!  Her husband has been out of the country and for nine months and she is supporting their 15 month old daughter.  She needed to pay bills such as day care.  She received NO MONEY AT ALL!  She was told her pay would be deposited on Monday.  This outraged me!  I then realized that most of the people who received no money were support staff (custodians, secretaries, assistants, etc).  These are commonly the people who need every penny they have earned WHEN they have been told they will be paid.  

I have realized that those who have never been without cannot, or don't want to, realize that not everyone is as fortunate as they are!  I cannot believe that they felt it was okay to make her wait three days for the money she has worked for.  I am sure if she owed them money they would not be so patient.  

I do realize that this was a mistake made.  I do NOT, for one second, believe that anyone did this on purpose.  Mistakes happen...  But when they are made, they need to be fixed in a reasonable manner for the people affected.  I really don't feel that it is reasonable for anyone that has worked for a paycheck and is in need of the money to have to wait three days for their pay.  Even a partial amount would have been better than NOTHING.

I saw that once people realized that their pay was okay, they left without another thought for those that got nothing.  Some people were actually given live checks to take to their bank, while some got nothing.  It makes me sick that those in charge did not do SOMETHING!  I offered my assistant some money to hold her over but she would not accept it.  She said she had family that would help her out.  I pray that this Monday she will be given the money owed to her and I will be contacting anyone who will listen if she is not paid.  I'm just a teacher and really have no pull with anyone but, I can't just sit back and see people treated unfairly!  

I praise God that He has blessed me and my family with everything we need.  I pray that He guides those that are in need and provides for them.  I pray for those involved in the mistake and that people will forgive them and not hold grudges.  I pray that those in charge will have a change in heart and do what it takes to ensure EVERYONE is taken care of. 

Acts 20:35

The Message (MSG)

^33-35 “I’ve never, as you so well know, had any taste for wealth or fashion. With these bare hands I took care of my own basic needs and those who worked with me. In everything I’ve done, I have demonstrated to you how necessary it is to work on behalf of the weak and not exploit them. You’ll not likely go wrong here if you keep remembering that our Master said, ‘You’re far happier giving than getting.’”

Luke 6:38

The Message (MSG)

^37-38 “Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults—unless, of course, you want the same treatment. Don’t condemn those who are down; that hardness can boomerang. Be easy on people; you’ll find life a lot easier. Give away your life; you’ll find life given back, but not merely given back—given back with bonus and blessing. Giving, not getting, is the way. Generosity begets generosity.”

Proverbs 19:17

The Message (MSG)

¹⁷ Mercy to the needy is a loan to God,
    and God pays back those loans in full.

Angie

The Men in My Life

Yesterday was Father's Day and it got me thinking about the men in my life.  Neither of my grandfathers were alive at the time of my birth so I don't know what they were like.  Neither of my grandmothers remarried once their husbands died so I guess they thought they were irreplaceable.

Even my own father was not around when I was born.  He was in Vietnam.  The Red Cross sent him a telegram telling him he was the father of a new baby...BOY!  Oops!  He wrote my mom a letter telling her he was so happy to have a son.  She had to write back and break the news to him that I was a girl.  I was finally able to meet him when I was about nine months old and we didn't get along too well.  I was pretty much spoiled because my mother and I were living with my aunt and uncle and my mom didn't want me to cry and bother them so she held me all the time.  I quickly realized he was the boss and we got along pretty well after that.  I became daddy's little girl!  Until I became a teenager...  Those were VERY rough years and a blog post for another time.  Now that I am an adult we get along pretty well.  We don't agree on everything but we accept that and move on.  He is so helpful to me and my family that I will NEVER be able to repay him.

My husband is the MOST important man in my life!  He is the father of my two younger children and is a gift to me from God!  It isn't easy to get close to Eric, but I am so glad that I did.  I trust him with my life!  I know that when he is around, nothing will harm me or our kids.  He never had a great example when he was growing up of what a good husband and father should be.  He never met his biological father until he was 21 and his step father did the best he knew how, but was so consumed with Eric's mom and her mental illness that it took all he had to keep her happy.  Eric and I got married as teenagers.  He was eighteen and I was nineteen so we basically grew up together.  We had a very rough seven or eight years but now things are BETTER THAN EVER!  He has become the best father I know and loves his children (including my oldest son) with all his being.  I thank God for him on a daily basis!

My oldest son's father is a great guy.  We only communicate when it has to do with our son as he lives quite a distance away and our lives have just gone separate ways.  He is and always has been a great father to our son.

My oldest son, Anthony, is an amazing and positive young man.  Sadly, he has made several mistakes and is now paying for them.  He has grown more this past year, while in jail, than he has his previous adult years.  I am so very proud of the way he is taking responsibility for his mistakes and fixing them.  I regret not being their for him when he was younger, but am grateful that we have a relationship now.  I can't wait to see what God has in store for him.

My youngest son, Jimmy, is such a blessing to me.  We are very close and he has the biggest heart of anyone I know.  He loves his family so much and I love watching him interact with his dad and grandparents!  Recently he and his girlfriend broke up.  She has a little girl that is not Jimmy's but he has insisted on continuing a relationships with the little girl.  He loves her as his own.  Her biological father is not really in the picture and Jimmy has really stepped up as a positive male role model in her life.  I worry that this situation will end up badly and they will be torn apart when her mom gets married or if her father gets his act together some day.  I have had to give this situation over to God and trust that He has complete control over all of this.  One thing is for sure...  Jimmy will be a great father one day!

So, as I reflect on the men in my life, I realize I have a lot to be thankful for!  God has truly blessed me!

Angie

Summer Vacation is Here... Isn't It?

All teachers and students look forward to Summer Vacation for several reasons.

• Sleeping in...
• Rest...
• Do what We Want to do...

The beginning of my summer has not really had the first two.  I am teaching ESL Summer School and have the pre k kids!!  A big difference from my 5th graders!  So... no sleeping in or rest for me quite yet.  But... I am doing what I want to do!  

I got my dual license in English as a Second Language for two reasons: to help me get a job once I graduated and to help students who live here in the US but don't speak English yet.  One of my biggest pet peeves is to hear someone complain about people in our country that don't speak English.  What they don't realize is... it isn't easy.  ESPECIALLY  when the people they are trying to communicate with are being impatient and rude because they don't speak perfect English yet.  (And let's be honest...  I know many people born and raised in the good ole U. S. of A. that speak far from perfect English!)  By teaching children how to speak English I pray that they will not have to endure the hatred and rude comments of ignorant people.  These children did not CHOOSE to come to the US but may spend their entire lives here.  I want them to grow up and be successful!  Which is my prayer for all the students I come in contact with, regardless of their first language.

So... my "true" summer vacation will have to wait a few weeks but it is all worth it!

Angie

Welcome Home

This past Fall I experienced being an empty nester!  My daughter went off to college and my son moved out all in the same week!  It was tough!  And now that the school year is winding down, my daughter is home for the summer!  Yay!  This mommy has been looking forward to this day for a long time!

But... there are challenges that I will face having her home for the summer!  I was reminded of this yesterday when she finally arrived home!  We had done most of the packing and moving the day before on Friday! (I still don't understand how she accumulated so much stuff!)  She had decided to stay all night with a friend from her speech team so that she could watch her graduate on Saturday.  The graduation was at 2:30 pm so we knew Bri wouldn't be home for a while.  My husband and I cleaned as we anxiously awaited her arrival.  She got home and after a few minutes of hugs she said she was going to Indianapolis (about an hour away) to visit with high school friends!  That is when I began pouting!  What really got my goat was that she was leaving to go visit people who have proven, more than once, that they are NOT true friends.  Some are teens who do NOT make good choices and she was choosing to leave her loving parents to go visit with THEM!  I even suggested she go visit another friend who has proven time and again to be a TRUE friend and is a godly, Christian young lady.

I let her know my feelings and how disappointed I was in her choice, but told her it was her choice to make.  Once she left I stewed and pouted some more!  Then I remember... God is in control!  He gave us both free will!  She has to make choices AND so do I.  Ouch!  I realized that pouting was not the way to handle this.  I gave my concerns to God and prayed that He would watch over her and that she would make wise choices with Him on her mind as she was gone.

I know this is not the last time this summer she is going to do something to hurt my feelings or make me worry.  I can let it consume me and make me into an emotional mess or I can give it COMPLETELY to God.  I will always be her parent and will not stop from guiding her and giving her my opinions on how to be a godly young woman.  It is up to her to listen and make the choices that God would have her to make.

I am choosing to be a godly mother, to welcome her, and to create a home that she will want to spend time at.  Pray for me...

Angie

Where the Wild Things Are

Where the Wild Things Are

God Wants to Use ME?!?!?!

I have noticed something lately.  In the past month or so people have contacted me for advice or have opened up to me about struggles they are having.  They are coming to.... ME!?!?!  Are they crazy?  I really don't know why they chose me.  I am such a disorganized, messed up, emotional person!  They have been coming to me about medical issues, relationship conflicts, career/financial concerns, parenting issues, marital problems, and conflicts with other Christians. Each time I did my best to give suggestions or just comfort and encourage these people.  Each time I reflected and prayed that I had said the right things.  After about the third time I realized God was in fact using ME!  WOW!  I then began praying hard that I was saying what HE wanted me to say!  I also began asking God why these people were coming to me.  There are so many more qualified people than me.  My own children don't listen to me, but these people, ranging in ages from 20 to 40+, were coming to me.  God showed me these truths:

1. He often uses normal people
2. These people know I am a Christian 
3. They can trust me to keep their confidence
4. I won't judge them but I will speak Biblical truth out of love
5. I've been through similar struggles
6. They have seen how I handle challenging times
7. I'm a disorganized, messed up, emotional person (which I guess makes me approachable)

This has been a very humbling time!  I feel so blessed that God is able and willing to use me.  It feels so good to be used by God.  The leader of my Bible Study group recently commented that all of us in the group enjoy being used by God.  This is so true!  It is also a bit overwhelming because I don't want to say anything that is not God lead.  I also don't want to take any of the credit... to God be ALL the glory!  This leads me to the aha moment I had!  He uses me because I am.... willing.  

I pray that Christians that my children and husband come in contact with will also be willing to advise and encourage them!  I pray they will look to God as they speak to them.  God can use any of us.  We only need to be willing.  He will guide us with what to do and say.  Our paths do not cross by accident, God appoints each meeting.

Here are some ordinary people God used:

• Peter and John (healing a man) Acts 3: 1-8
• Ananias (restored Saul's sight) Acts 22: 12-13
• Noah (built the arc) Genesis 6 - 9
• Sarah (gave birth to Isaac in her advanced age) Genesis 21:2
• Joseph (became second in charge in Egypt)  Genesis 41:37-44
• Moses (delivered people from Pharaoh) Exodus
• Rahab (a prostitute who saved Joshua's spies) Joshua 2

If God can use me, He can use you too!

  

Depression Happens!

I have dealt with depression for many years.  It is awful!  In the past I have fallen into the pits of depression and sadly even thought of ending my life.  Recently, one of my son's past girl-friend's father committed suicide.  Jimmy and this girl are still friends and she reached out to him to talk about it.  Jimmy could not understand how her father could be so selfish.  This girl is a young mother that is going through a divorce and at the time of her father's suicide she was in the process of studying for finals.  She attends a local college and works hard to balance everything in her life and depends on her family for a lot of support.  This man had adopted another daughter when she was in the first grade.  Being adopted by this family was a blessing because she had been through a lot of trauma with her biological family.  So much so that they were advised to change her name.  Jimmy wondered how she would cope knowing that the father who chose her would then kill himself.  He just couldn't understand the depths of depression.

Our family is no stranger to mental health issues and suicide.  Jimmy's grandmother committed suicide when he was in junior high.  Both his father and I have gone through depression but, apparently we did a good job of shielding him from most of it.

In the past, before I truly started looking to God for help with my depression, I turned to substances, "friends", or activities for comfort, which of course only made things worse.  The three worse times of my depression occurred after having Anthony and being a teenage mother whose parents had left the state, shortly after getting married at 19, and then again in my 30's.  The first two times were linked to the birth control I was taking.  The last time my anxiety had gone untreated and I fell into the pit of depression.  Luckily at that time I knew the signs and went to get help and did not think of taking my life.

Now that I am a devoted follower of Christ I would love to say that all that depression is behind me, but it still rears its ugly head from time to time.  The big difference is who and what I turn to for help.  Now I ask my true Christian friends to pray for me or I try to spend time with them, I read my Bible, I pray, and I look for blogs or websites of other Christians dealing with depression.  Satan tries to tell me that I am weak and that I will never succeed in overcoming my depression.  HE IS A LIAR!  When a person is in that pit of depression it is easy to believe the lies.  That others will be better off without you, that life would be easier or better without you in it, that no one will even care or notice that you are gone, that others will be relieved that you are gone, etc...  I don't know what that father was thinking when he chose to end his life but, if our experiences are similar at all I think he thought he was doing what was best.  He believed Satan's lies.

I've been down lately and I have seen the early signs.  Wanting to sleep all day, crying all the time, being grouchy and sensitive, headaches, etc.  But I know that God sees me.  He knows how I am feeling and is there to comfort me if I look to Him.  I read Psalms 42 and 43 and they are quite comforting!

These are some verses that help lift me out of the pit:

Jeremiah 29:11-12

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you.

Romans 5:5

and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

Philippians 4:6-7

do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Matthew 11:28-30

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

Christians get depressed too.  Do NOT listen to Satan's lies!

Climbing out of the pit,

Angie

God Loves My Kids More Than I Do

As I have entered the world of the "Empty Nest" I have HAD to let go of my children...  It is the hardest thing I have had to do as a parent.  Harder than car pooling two kids to various activities while my husband was deployed to Saudi Arabia and we lived thousands of miles away from family.  Harder than when my babies were sick and I was running on one hour of sleep in two or three days.  Harder than learning to deal with my ADHD son and trying to explain to teachers how to best deal with him but NOT letting him use his diagnosis as a crutch.  Harder than dealing with my daughter's daily seizures as her teenage hormones and the anti seizure medications were playing havoc on her brain (and my sanity.)  During all those hard times I still had control, or so I thought. I did not have control over my husband being sent to a far away country, I did not have control over the sicknesses they got, I did not have control over the abundance of energy and lack of focus my son had, and I did not have control over the seizures my daughter had. However, I definitely had control over the choices that had to be made and the physical aspects of my children's lives. (Where they were at, what they would do, and what they would wear, etc.)

Yes even as teenagers I had control!  Some say they have no control over their teenagers but that is NOT true!  They have made the choice NOT to control their teenagers.  I must say I sometimes chose to allow my teenagers to do things or make some choices that others felt I should have controlled.  (hair, clothes, friends, bed times, etc.)  In some cases my children learned great lessons on making those choices and in others, looking back, I should have controlled.  When my kids were teenagers they would be grounded and I very much controlled that.  When it started, when it ended, what they were grounded from and so on.  I did not give in and luckily my husband was on the same page and we held our ground.  I have spoken to some parents whose children physically attack their parents and run away.  In those situations there are still ways to control their children but those are hard choices to make and I have not been in those situations so I cannot speak to that.  I learned a long time ago not to say, "I would have..."  I know there are choices I could have made to control them and I hope I would have done so but, I made it through those years without having to make those hard choices.  However, I did have some to make that were EXTREMELY hard to make. (I will discuss those in another post...maybe)

Now I am dealing with the HARDEST part of parenting... being the parent of grown children!  My oldest son was raised primarily by his father so, sadly, my absence has been the biggest affect on him as a child and now as an adult.  My two younger children were raised by their father (my husband) and myself.  My son, Jimmy, lives in an apartment nearby and works at Toyota.   Jimmy is 22 and has done many things that I wish he wouldn't.  (Tattoos, drinking, etc.)  At this point, I have had a few years to adjust to Jimmy being an adult.  I still get very frustrated with many of his choices but by the grace of God none of them have been life threatening.  He struggles in various areas and that is hard to watch.  I just try to guide him toward Christ whenever the opportunity arises.  But, he is an adult at this point and I can't MAKE him go to church or live like Christ.  God gave him free will just like everyone else.  (This is one of those subjects I will ask about once I enter Heaven!)

My daughter, Bri, is a freshman at Ball State University. She is 19, still a teenager, but making the transition to adulthood.  She went through a challenging year when she was a sophomore.  We got through it with LOTS of prayer, tough love, and therapy.  God knew what He was doing though, as usual.  She learned so much from that time and it helped to prepare her for the independence she has experienced at college.  It is much harder to let her make decisions that I don't like because up until a year or so ago I had CONTROL!  (or did I?)

As I pray for my children and ask God to guide them and protect them, I am reminded that they belong to Him.  I have been blessed to have them in my life so that I can teach them about Him and the gift of salvation that exists only in the Son that He gave as a sacrifice.  (BAM!  That's an A-ha moment!)  He gave His Son as a sacrifice so that my children can have eternal life!!!  That is how much he loves them!  I can't imagine giving one of my children's lives up for one of the other's.  And if you think about it...  He gave his "perfect" Son as a sacrifice for all His imperfect children!  Mind boggling...

This is what helps me to let go of my urge to control my grown children.  They have accepted Christ and even though they may stray, as I did at various times, they belong to Him and the Holy Spirit will NOT let them rest if they are headed in the wrong direction.  He is ALWAYS with them!  He has plans for them and I need to get out of the way so I don't mess them up!

Don't get me wrong...  when they ask for my opinion or I see a teachable moment I jump on it!  But...  it is now time for them to make their own choices.  I have often watched other parents and thought, "Wow!  They did a great job with their kids!  I wish I could go back and do a better job.  I would change sooooo much!"  Recently some ladies have shared with me that they wish they could be more like me as a mom and that is so bizarre to me!  Why would anyone want to be like me as mom?  Maybe this is God's way of reassuring me that I haven't ruined my kids and that He is now taking over full time.  I will always be their mom but as they become adults we are brothers and sisters in Christ and can support, encourage, and hold each other accountable to OUR Father in Heaven.

Angie

Spring Break Has Arrived

Well.... it is here!  Spring Break has officially started!  At 2:35 I said goodbye to my 27 students for twelve days!  I love each and every one of them and I feel so blessed to be a part of their lives but, I am exhausted.  I need this time to recharge physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  Teaching is the most exhausting, challenging, and fulfilling job I have ever had!  I am so blessed that God called me to do something that I love to do.  It amazes me how He gives me the ability to do this job well.

I'm just like many others and love to be recognized for doing a good job.  I like to know that I am doing something right and that I am good at what I do.  I have never felt this much fulfillment in anything.  I am careful not to be prideful because I know this all comes from Christ.  I would NOT be able to do what I do without His guidance.

And now He has blessed me with some time off to recharge!  But...  I must confess.  I spent the first few hours pouting because I don't get to go anywhere.  While my teacher friends are off to Colorado, California, Arizona, New York, Florida....  I am stuck at home!  My husband and I were planning on visiting my cousins in Tennessee but due to several unexpected expenses, we just can't afford it.  So I drove home pouting, pouted while I made dinner, and then pouted off to bed.  I slept for a little bit but woke up and decided to read a little of the book my Bible Study group is studying,  The God Who Sees You  by Tammy Maltby.  And of course God spoke to me!  He told me to change my perspective.

So I am trying...  Instead of looking at it as a terrible break that will drag on because I don't get to go anyplace fun, I am changing my perspective.  How many other professions get 12 days off to recharge?  My husband is taking a few days off and I LOVE being with him and that will be GREAT!  I have so much I need to do around my house and my classroom and now I will have the time.  I have plans to spend at least one day visiting with my sister-in-law and I know that will be a blast!  I am going to make dinner for my Bible Study group which is awesome because it is a small way for me to show them how much they mean to me.  I am going to do my best to visit the Pregnancy Care Center to see if there is a way I can help out. (Something I have been meaning to do for a LONG time.)  And the GREATEST thing that God is giving me on this break is time to REST!  I am getting older and my body has told me a lot lately that I need to rest.

So....NO MORE POUTING!  I am going to have a GREAT Spring Break even though I'm staying right here at home!

Angie

Being a Mom!

Being a mom is an emotional ride!  In the past week I have had the following emotions as a mother:

1. Pride
2. Sadness
3. Disappointment
4. Happiness
5. Frustration
6. Joy
7. Nervousness
8. Anxiety
9. Fear
10. Loneliness

Being a mom is definitely not for the faint of heart!  You must be strong to be a mom!  My children are my everything.  Now that they are all out of the house and I am left with an empty nest I have had to go through quite an adjustment!  Luckily my youngest is just at college and still comes home at times!  This weekend she is in Florida for a speech competition and a few days of Spring Break.  I get to pick her up from the airport on Tuesday and she will be home till Sunday!  I am so excited to see her!  (Another emotion I failed to mention)  My middle son lives in a town close by and works where my husband works but on a different shift.  So I see him a few times a month.  He even stopped by this week and had pizza with us!  My oldest is in Idaho and is sadly serving some time in jail.  On the bright side he has gotten the counseling he needed and is doing well and should be out this summer.  We all have consequences for our actions and he is taking his like a man.  I wasn't there for him like I should have been when he was growing up and have a lot of guilty feelings over that! (Yet again, another emotion not on the list)  

The best thing I can do for my children is pray for them, which I do daily.  I am grateful that God loves my children even more than I do. (Which is hard for me to understand)

Mom

More Prayers for Jimmy

A mother hurts most when her children hurt, are in danger, or are sad.  Today Jimmy finally heard from his doctor about his ultrasound test.  I am praising God that they didn't tell him to rush to a hospital because of something serious, but they didn't say everything was fine either.  I had thought that since he didn't hear anything that they found nothing.  But today they said the results were in and that he needed to make a follow up appointment with his doctor.  They were looking for signs of cancer and I would think that if they found anything suspicious they would have called him right away.  So now I worry that there may be something else wrong.



Protect me, God, when I take refuge in you - Psalm 16:1

Praying for Jimmy

My middle son, Jimmy, has become quite a negative person these days.  This saddens me because he has always been charismatic and a joy to be around.  I know that he is his own person but as his mother I feel responsible for the man he is becoming.  I wish I could do something to make him feel better.  I used to describe him as:

• fun loving
• hyper
• busy
• talkative
• able to solve any challenge if given enough time
• smart
• funny
• creative

Now he is unhappy, mean, and angry.  I believe several things have caused this change.  

• unhealthy relationships
• alcohol
• unmedicated ADHD

I pray that I get to see the happy person that I know he truly is!  He has an appointment to see his psychiatrist this week and I pray that he is able to get some help.  

Praying...

Things That Bug Me

Everyone has things that just bug them!  Sometimes I come across situations, read something, or hear something that just sets me off!  I'm not a person that rants or raves or screams and shouts about things that upset me...  I just think and think and think about them.  I'm old enough to know that just because I voice my objections about something it is not going to change someone's mind about it or make a situation any different.  That is the main reason I don't make a big scene about things but, it doesn't stop me from over-analyzing it in my mind. lol

Here are some things that drive me nuts:

1. Racist or sexist remarks
2. Commercials that use sex to sell things
3. People who act like they are better than others
4. People/businesses/organizations that make promises to get what they want and then don't follow through
5. Unkind Christians
6. People who spit
7. People who criticize my children/husband/family  (I'm the only one allowed to do this!)
8. Drunks
9. Parents who put boyfriends or girlfriends ahead of their children
10. Mean people

Whew!  Glad to get that off my chest!  lol  Maybe this blogging thing will be good for getting out the things that bother me without bothering anyone with it and driving them nuts!

Angie

Just Me

Well... here it goes.  My first attempt at blogging!  I have titled my blog as "It's Just Me..." because I'm nothing special.  I'm not saying that to get sympathy.  Of course I am special to my husband, my kids, and of course my parents but, other than that I can easily go unnoticed in a crowd.  Even the unique things about me can go unnoticed or unrecognized.  It's not good or bad, it is just the way it is.

I hope someone out there enjoys my blog, but even if they don't, I hope to get something out of doing it.  I REALLY love to talk so I think I will enjoy blogging.  I may not know how many, if any, people will read my blogs.  That's okay though because when I talk sometimes people aren't really listening anyway. I know this is true because to be honest, sometimes I don't listen when people are talking to me.  I don't do this on purpose...  I believe it has to do with my self diagnosed ADD.

There are things that make me unique from others.  However, I feel like these are relatively boring things.

1. I am biracial. (My mother is from Okinawa, Japan and my father is from Jackson, Tennessee)
2. I've lived in about six states and in Japan.
3. I have been married and divorced three times...to the SAME man.
4. I had my first child between my junior and senior years of high school (my parents kicked me out and I was on my own)
5. I've dealt with severe depression and anxiety
6. I've been "unofficially" diagnosed with Trigeminal Neuralgia
7. I earned my college degree in elementary education when I was 40.

Well... if anyone reads this I hope they come back to learn about the things that make me "just me".

Angie