Depression Happens!

I have dealt with depression for many years.  It is awful!  In the past I have fallen into the pits of depression and sadly even thought of ending my life.  Recently, one of my son's past girl-friend's father committed suicide.  Jimmy and this girl are still friends and she reached out to him to talk about it.  Jimmy could not understand how her father could be so selfish.  This girl is a young mother that is going through a divorce and at the time of her father's suicide she was in the process of studying for finals.  She attends a local college and works hard to balance everything in her life and depends on her family for a lot of support.  This man had adopted another daughter when she was in the first grade.  Being adopted by this family was a blessing because she had been through a lot of trauma with her biological family.  So much so that they were advised to change her name.  Jimmy wondered how she would cope knowing that the father who chose her would then kill himself.  He just couldn't understand the depths of depression.

Our family is no stranger to mental health issues and suicide.  Jimmy's grandmother committed suicide when he was in junior high.  Both his father and I have gone through depression but, apparently we did a good job of shielding him from most of it.

In the past, before I truly started looking to God for help with my depression, I turned to substances, "friends", or activities for comfort, which of course only made things worse.  The three worse times of my depression occurred after having Anthony and being a teenage mother whose parents had left the state, shortly after getting married at 19, and then again in my 30's.  The first two times were linked to the birth control I was taking.  The last time my anxiety had gone untreated and I fell into the pit of depression.  Luckily at that time I knew the signs and went to get help and did not think of taking my life.

Now that I am a devoted follower of Christ I would love to say that all that depression is behind me, but it still rears its ugly head from time to time.  The big difference is who and what I turn to for help.  Now I ask my true Christian friends to pray for me or I try to spend time with them, I read my Bible, I pray, and I look for blogs or websites of other Christians dealing with depression.  Satan tries to tell me that I am weak and that I will never succeed in overcoming my depression.  HE IS A LIAR!  When a person is in that pit of depression it is easy to believe the lies.  That others will be better off without you, that life would be easier or better without you in it, that no one will even care or notice that you are gone, that others will be relieved that you are gone, etc...  I don't know what that father was thinking when he chose to end his life but, if our experiences are similar at all I think he thought he was doing what was best.  He believed Satan's lies.

I've been down lately and I have seen the early signs.  Wanting to sleep all day, crying all the time, being grouchy and sensitive, headaches, etc.  But I know that God sees me.  He knows how I am feeling and is there to comfort me if I look to Him.  I read Psalms 42 and 43 and they are quite comforting!

These are some verses that help lift me out of the pit:

Jeremiah 29:11-12

For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope. Then you will call upon me and come and pray to me, and I will hear you.

Romans 5:5

and hope does not put us to shame, because God's love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.

Philippians 4:6-7

do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Matthew 11:28-30

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light."

Christians get depressed too.  Do NOT listen to Satan's lies!

Climbing out of the pit,

Angie